2007 Volvo S80 AWD

2007 Volvo S80 AWD - Playing in a thoroughly competitive car segment, where well-established players BMW, Audi, Mercedes, Lexus, and Infiniti brim with character, the S80 offers all the flavor of Wasa crispbread, which is like eating particle board, but Swedes find it delectable. Part of the trouble is that the S80 doesn’t seem to know what it wants to be when it grows up. This identity confusion can be seen in the various settings the car offers. Order the $2495 Sport package, and you get three settings (low, medium, and high) for steering effort and three suspension settings. Chassis stiffness varies from slightly too soft (comfort), to almost right (sport), to just wrong (advanced). No matter the setting, the suspension and the structure are noisier and harsher than those of the S80’s German rivals. With all these settings, Volvo seems to say, “We don’t know what this car should be. You figure it out.” But try as we might, we couldn’t find a combination that made the S80 feel lively or excited about its existence.

Front-drive handling characteristics are rarely desirable, but it’s a death sentence in a segment where rear-wheel drive and balanced weight distribution and handling are the norm. An electronically controlled center clutch pack will send as much as 50 percent of the power rearward if wheelslip is detected, but unlike the more sophisticated all-wheel-drive system in the Acura RL, which is designed to provide rear-wheel-drive handling with all-wheel-drive traction under acceleration, Volvo’s AWD system seems set up solely to increase the traction under acceleration. With the stability control switched off (it’s never fully off, however, and will insist on intervening if it determines that you’re getting the car too far out of line), the S80 will briefly power oversteer, but the car doesn’t exactly revel in, or encourage, this sort of hooliganism. The 0.87 g of lateral grip is impressive, but most of the credit for that number should go to the wide Pirelli P Zero Rosso tires that come with the Sport package.

It’s easy to creep into big-ticket territory in the S80. An absence of wind noise, comfortable and supportive seats, and the aforementioned accurate on-center steering make the S80 feel secure at autobahn speeds. Inside, the S80 is a serene (66 decibels at 70 mph) and calming environment that is an evolution of Volvo’s interior design. A floating center console, similar to the one in the S40, houses climate and radio controls. Attractive and striking pewter-like switchgear and bezels are peppered throughout, and for traditionalists, there are swaths of polished wood on the doors and dash. Simple yet elegant tachometer and speedometer gauges sit next to each other and house digital displays for fuel level, trip-computer readouts, and various warning messages. Interior materials are first-rate, and the graining on many of the plastics is unlike anything we’ve seen before in a car. Rear-seat room feels better than in a 5-series or E-class and about on par with that of an A6. The interior is by no means groundbreaking and the competition also offers luxurious cabins, but Scandinavian design permeates every aspect of the S80’s interior, and that may be enough for those loyal to the throne of King Carl Gustaf.

But the feature that crosses the line between being concerned about safety and make-an-appointment-with-a-therapist paranoia is the so-called heartbeat sensor. Part of the $495 personal car communicator (PCC) option that brings keyless unlocking and starting, PCC adds an information button to the remote. Press the “i” button, and provided the car is within range, the S80 will tell you what state the car is in. If it’s locked or unlocked, the remote will illuminate a light next to the unlock or lock button, if the alarm is tripped, a light illuminates around the hazard symbol on the remote. This is where things get a little weird. If the alarm is set off, the S80 activates its “heartbeat” sensor that Volvo claims is sensitive enough to detect the beating of a human heart.

At best the S80 is eminently rational and sensible, which is another way of saying dull. For $48,045 the S80 offers V-8 sounds and acceleration for slightly less than its European peers, a handsome if familiar exterior and interior, and all-wheel drive. However, our safety-laden S80 came in at a sticker-shocking $56,025, and it didn’t have a navigation system. For that money, we expect dynamic entertainment, not boredom. Just by chance, a Jaguar S-type 4.2 was paying us a visit at the same time as the S80.